My beautiful mother who died several years ago at age 87 was a wonderful, kind human being who would never do anything to hurt a person’s feelings. She could have had much less stress in her life by occasionally saying “no” when a friend or family member asked her for a favor such as, to bake a cake, to host a meeting for her lady’s club or to feed a neighbors cat. Helping friends and neighbors is a good thing we all can do to show we care, however, even well intentioned people soon “catch on” that you don’t know how to say “no”.
When the fear of disappointing someone by saying “no” is a problem that keeps you jumping and at the mercy of all others, it is bad for your health. The very quality of your life depends on the ability to say no when appropriate and to feel no guilt for having made your health a priority.
Saying no can be difficult because we may be afraid of how people react or of someone not liking us because of “no”. This can be especially true in a work relationship if you’re fearful of losing your job. Certainly most of us make sacrifices in our work but sacrificing one’s health is too great a price to pay, period.
The digital world in which we now live in makes us accessible 24/7 and makes it challenging to create healthy boundaries that are critical to a quality life. When we learn to use good judgment about who and what deserves our time we move to a better place mentally and physically. Even the best intentioned friends can be opportunistic and aware that you don’t know how to say no. Learn to do it and learn to do it without feeling guilty, it’s liberating and healthy.
It often seems some people relish an endlessly busy schedule. It may fuel the feeling of being more important. If you’re living your life for other people you may burn out or push yourself too far. Rats don’t do well on an endless treadmill, neither do humans. When you’re a pinball it can lead to insomnia, cardiovascular problems, a weakened immune system and over all poor mental health.
One key aspect of learning to say no is planning and prioritizing your time. We all have 24 hours in a day and we should plan our schedule based on our priorities. One example might be exercise. When a person says I don’t have time to exercise one is really saying it’s not important enough for me to say no to things less important. When you learn to say “no” you can find time to say yes to things that really matter. Hopefully your health is one of them. Call Johnson Chiropractic, P.C. in Raleigh today for Better Health at (919) 876-2212.